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Are You Insulted By The Truth?

Motivational Background

Recently I was working on a project for a friend, in my conversation with him about the project, his nephew was there.  While I was talking about the project, I said “I really could use another person helping me to get this completed by the deadline, I need to find someone.”  Immediately, his nephew, who I know pretty well, chimed in and said he would be happy to assist me.  I knew that would not work because I knew his personality type and I knew mine.

You see, he is a very high S (supportive, peace keeping) type and I am a very high D (direct, results driven).  What I really needed to help me was a very high C (conscientious, detailed) person.  I am also a high C so I knew that is what I needed to complete this project.  Now don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love S types.  They complete me.  But in this instance, for this job, no way Hosea.  I needed a C type.  I would end up pulling my hair out and probably a lot of rework based on his help.  And I knew from just knowing him, he had very little C type in his behavior.  So it required me to be truthful and explain that to him.  I was very tactful (probably more than usual) but I needed to be truthful at the same time (remember, I am direct, I am working on toning that down).  Needless to say, he was not very happy with our talk.  My friend later told me that he was very insulted about what I told him.  I told my friend, “But I was truthful.”

And that is always my response.  This is not my first time running into such a situation but here are my thoughts on the matter.  I would rather be truthful and tell you the things you need to know to improve yourself than not tell you at all.  The things that I reveal to you about whether I appreciate your level of work or service or not is indeed based on my insight only, but it is something worth exploring inwardly.  Here is what I do when I am told less than desirable news about myself.  BEFORE, I get totally miffed and insulted.  I TAKE 5.  What do I mean?  I ask myself these 5 questions:

  1. Am I at odds with this person?
  2. What would be that person’s motive for telling me that?
  3. Are the things this person is saying to me something that someone else has said to me before?
  4. When I carefully review the situation mentioned, can I see what that person may be referring to or maybe see where that person is mistaken about?
  5. Is this an area where I feel I may be able to improve or strengthen my skills?

When someone says something to you, it is indeed worth exploring internally.  I always remind myself that if my very first instinct is to be insulted, there may be more to the story than meets the eye and I probably need to do some soul searching within.  Criticism does not always feel good to me but it may be just what I need.  So before you take things too personal and become highly insulted, stop a minute and TAKE 5.  It won’t hurt and you may learn a thing or two about yourself.

What things have insulted you lately that you may need to review internally?

{ 2 comments… add one }

  • Ana July 30, 2014, 4:40 pm

    Useful set of questions when you feel insulted, but by the time I ask them I’m probably already upset by someone insulting me, so I have probably already flounced off in the huff, or given as good as I got.

    • Kimberley Wiggins July 31, 2014, 6:12 pm

      I do understand Ana, thus the compelling need to read the blog so the next time you are insulted, maybe it will come back “top of mind” to Take 5. Blessings.

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